Santa Fights Back!

December 13th, 2016 | Uncategorized

The real Santa had been badly maimed in the original assault on the North Pole. He escaped when the Witches attacked Salem. Santa had taken shelter somewhere on the North Pole and was proving rather difficult to pin down for Robot Santa and the zombie elves. After the debacle with Beelzebub and Uriel in Salem, the Witch needed to rest and recharge with Helena. The witches retreated back to the north pole where they still had a number of zombie elves from 5 years ago. The North Pole made a perfect base of operations to regroup and recharge off of the elves natural magic.

“Welcome back,” Said Robot Santa. He had been repaired from the siege on Salem 5 years ago, and was now the leader of the North Pole.

“Hello Santa, how have operations been going? We need to draw on the elves power, our latest attempts to destroy Salem have gone awry and we are drained of magic.” asked the Witch, defeated.

“The elves magic is running low, but there should be enough for you both to get back to full strength.” Replied Robot Santa.

“Why is the elves magic so low!?” Exclaimed Helena.

“Well, we are still looking for Santa, and the zombie elves can no longer recharge their own magic.” Responded Robot Santa.

“The real Santa is starting to become a massive thorn in our sides. Deal with this Santa, or I will turn you into a bucket of bolts!” Shouted the Witch.

Little did the Witch know that Santa had actually saved 1 elf in the assault 2 years ago. Santa knew he had to kill the Zombie Elves, since he couldn’t bring them back. He watched as all of the regular Elves died at Workshop 7 right before his eyes. It lit a fire inside him and he swore that he would not let any other elves die. Santa’s Little Helper and Santa had a plan to reclaim their home from all these monstrous creatures that tried to claim the North Pole as their own home.

“Are you ready?” Asked Santa’s Little Helper.

“I think we just might be, the Witches are back, but they seem weak. This may be our only time to strike. The elves magic stores are running low from looking for us, and it will take some time for the Witches to reach full strength again.” Said Santa as he assessed the situation.

Santa had spent the last 5 years training to reclaim his home, and doing everything he could to stop the operations of Robot Santa and the Witches. One could barely even recognize Santa anymore. He had turned from the happy go lucky fat man everyone adored to a war-torn warrior with a sharpened candy cane where his arm used to be. Robot Santa and his Zombie Elves made an avalanche fall on Santa last year and his arm got stuck in a crevice. Due to the extreme cold, Santa had to cut off his arm or keep it and freeze to death. He gritted his teeth, took out his pocket knife and began to cut. The candy cane was the right size, so he had Santa’s Little Helper attach and sharpen it as a replacement arm and weapon. Santa would never be the same again, but if he could stop Robot Santa and the witches it would all be worth it.

The Elves set out on patrols every hour on the hour like clockwork. There were always at least 50 elves remaining at Workshop 13, where it all started 5 years ago. Santa, and his little helper could manage to take out all of these Elves. The problem came when dealing with the Witches and Robot Santa. The Witches may not be at full power, but they still controlled very powerful magic.


A loud explosion was heard and the Witch whipped around and screamed “What the hell was that!?”

Sirens began to go off and smoke filled Workshop 13.

Robot Santa shouted to the Zombie Elves, “Go investigate!”

When the first Elf got there he was met with sweet death. Santa impaled him with his sharpened candy cane arm, removing his head, smashing it and flinging him to the side.

“What do you think you are doing? You think that you can take us all on by yourself?! Fool!” Cackled the Witch.

“Of course, I’m Santa. Why don’t you try to prove me wrong.” Proclaimed Santa.

The Witch was taken aback by Santa’s courage and admired it. The Witch laughed at his audacity as she shouted. “Get him Elves!”

The Elves began to swarm towards Santa and he started slashing away at the Army of Elves. Blood and body parties flew every which way as the Witch’s Army of Elves began to dwindle.


Just as Robot Santa was getting ready to charge in, a loud crash of glass and the sound of a gunshot rang throughout the warehouse.

Helena exclaimed “Who is firing at us?!”

Robot Santa fell to the ground with a hole the size of a small soccer ball through his chest. Oil leaked from the hole and sparks flew from the wound. “Systems critical, malfunct……” Robot Santa’s red light dimmed and the light in his eyes vanished.

Helena looked up to see an Elf with a small cannon furiously trying to reload behind a shattered window. “He has an Elf! I thought we had taken control of all of the Elves?”

In shock and unsure what had just happened, the Witch stammered, “An EEE..lf? She our rob..b..b..ot. Where did you come from?” The Witch cast a spell to pull Santa’s Little Helper from the window and as she hit the ground her arm broke causing her gun to slide away from her.

Santa roared from across the workshop with bodies strewn out before him, blood dripping from his sharpened candy cane arm. “Don’t hurt her you animals!”

The Witch picked the small elf up and twisted her broken arm behind her as she screamed in pain “Oh, you poor thing, it looks like Santa’s going to let you down, again. First he lets the North Pole get taken over, and now he is going to let you die.”

Santa’s Little Helper’s eyes swelled up with tears and she whispered something “This isn’t over…”

“Oh, how cute, you think you still have a chance. We may not be at full power, but Helena and I have more than enough magic to defeat you two gnats. To think you thought you cou-”

Just then a hand grabbed the Witch by the throat, and flung her across the warehouse. Digging herself from the rubble the Witch looked at Helena whose mouth was agape, then she saw the culprit. Robot Santa was helping the small elf back up off the ground.

“Robot Santa what are you doing, have you lost your mind? Why are you helping them!”

“System rebooted, all sy-systems func-tioning at sub-optimal levels.” Stammered Robot Santa “Are you OK Santa?” The oil leak had stopped, and the sparking had become less frequent.

“It worked Santa! Robot Santa rebooted, he is back on our side. You were right, if we hit him hard enough he would turn on the Witches!” Exclaimed Santa’s Little Helper.

“Robot Santa, get the Witches now, while they are separated!” Shouted Santa

Robot Santa swung at Helena, but she dodged it and began to make her way over to the Witch. Santa was still preoccupied with the Zombie Elves, but was advancing towards his comrades.

The Witch and Helena were able to regroup and began to cast a spell, but Robot Santa charged at them interrupting the spell. The unstable magic from the spell exploded and blasted the Witch and Helena outside the workshop. Beaten and bloodied the two Witches knew that without Robot Santa they wouldn’t stand a chance with their powers so drained, so they devised an escape plan.

The Witches ran towards workshop 9, where Santa’s sleigh and reindeer are kept. When Santa and Santa’s Little Helper arrived they were greeted by Blitzen, but he too was now a zombie. Missing an antler and with skin peeling, he began to limp towards them. Robot Santa stepped forward to intercept Blitzen, but when he struck Blitzen the reindeer exploded, breaking a column and causing part of the workshop to collapse. When the dust cleared Robot Santa was crushed underneath the sleigh. There would be no coming back from the damage done this time, and Santa looked through the remaining dust cloud and saw the two Witches sprinting from the wreckage. Santa’s Little Helper began to chase them, but Santa stopped them. He grabbed a piece of metal from Robot Santa, threw it forward, and it began to melt when it touched the ground.

“It looks like the set up some traps in case we chased them… They will be back, but in the meantime the North Pole is ours again.”