Sexual harassment in game and how to deal with it?

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Re: Sexual harassment in game and how to deal with it?

Postby PuppetPrincess » Fri Jul 12, 2019 6:45 pm

It's not how the filter works, and not all of us can just ignore something like that.
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Re: Sexual harassment in game and how to deal with it?

Postby BabyGobln » Fri Jul 12, 2019 6:56 pm

You gotta block and report, and then if they're someone on the forums or reddit, you need to expose the m too.
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Re: Sexual harassment in game and how to deal with it?

Postby PuppetPrincess » Sun Jul 14, 2019 1:24 pm

I might just stop playing. My appeal was denied. This is a joke. I even just reread the Wikia. It literally SAYS what he did was harassment, and he also bypassed the chat filter, which is also reportable. But I'm breaking the rules because I asked that he be reported. Ridiculous.
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Re: Sexual harassment in game and how to deal with it?

Postby Hagg1s » Sun Jul 14, 2019 1:50 pm

PuppetPrincess wrote:I might just stop playing. My appeal was denied. This is a joke. I even just reread the Wikia. It literally SAYS what he did was harassment, and he also bypassed the chat filter, which is also reportable. But I'm breaking the rules because I asked that he be reported. Ridiculous.


Two people, each breaking separate rules, are not mutually exclusive.
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Re: Sexual harassment in game and how to deal with it?

Postby PuppetPrincess » Sun Jul 14, 2019 2:07 pm

Except I didn't break a rule. He started the game harassing me and bypassing the chat filter, thus me saying to report him should be completely valid.
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Re: Sexual harassment in game and how to deal with it?

Postby RetralMega » Sun Jul 14, 2019 2:50 pm

PuppetPrincess wrote:Except I didn't break a rule. He started the game harassing me and bypassing the chat filter, thus me saying to report him should be completely valid.

If you didn't break a rule; your report wouldn't have been Guilty'd.
If you didn't break a rule; your appeal would have been granted.

Face the facts.
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Re: Sexual harassment in game and how to deal with it?

Postby Hagg1s » Sun Jul 14, 2019 2:52 pm

PuppetPrincess wrote:Except I didn't break a rule. He started the game harassing me and bypassing the chat filter, thus me saying to report him should be completely valid.


Asking town to report someone for breaking a rule vs. inundating town with spam on how terrible he is and to report him over and over are two different things. Judge(s) and jurors already determined that what he said, within that single game up until you started spamming people to report him, wasn't serious enough to warrant a report at that period of time. So from that perspective (objectively), you did break a rule.

Nobody should be minimizing the crappy things he said to you. However, you have been given multiple options for avoiding this person/similar behaviour in the future which you are actively ignoring because it doesn't align with your expectation for reprisal.

So what's more important to you? "Winning" and getting him banned or being provided with the tools to avoid similar behaviour in the future that is clearly making you uncomfortable? This person can always make a new account and continue the behaviour so IMO, getting someone banned should be the lesser priority and figuring out how to safely play the game (i.e. using the chat filters, /ignoring them in-game and avoiding lobbies with them) are much more effective.
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Re: Sexual harassment in game and how to deal with it?

Postby PuppetPrincess » Sun Jul 14, 2019 2:59 pm

Retral, that is sadly often not the case.

What's important to me is justice. It's not right that I got suspended when I did nothing wrong. He called me a word blocked by the chat filter. Using this word and bypassing the filter are both against the rules. Thus, me asking that others report him is not "inciting false reports".
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Re: Sexual harassment in game and how to deal with it?

Postby Tailslover13 » Sun Jul 14, 2019 3:15 pm

Okay, enough of this. Miss Okosan, let's walk through your report bit by bit, since you just don't seem to get the memo.

First off, your role-playing is obnoxious. Nobody loves role-playing more than me, but in a public, online game like this, you likely should stop doing that. So, the whole "Coo!" thing really needs to stop. As a very famous writer once wrote: "It's fun to have fun, but you have to know how." And pissing off your fellow players and acting like a child is not how you do it. So, with that out of the way, let's break this all down.

YOU started off the game by saying: "Hope that creepy predator from last game isn't here". So already you are publicly calling someone out and insinuating they are a "predator". Solo, the one who you were directing your hate at, clearly wasn't thrilled about this, and responded in kind with "I am here biitch". If you seriously have a problem with being called that name, please get off the internet. Again, YOU called them out first by saying they are a "creepy predator", so they have every right to call you a "biitch" in return. If you don't want to be yelled at, don't make accusations.

Next, admittedly Solo DID whisper to you first, and he said "Hey, garbage, report me again. Trash." Admittedly this could be deemed as being rude, but may I point out that you started this all off by calling him a "creepy predator"? Plus, you make your name "Okosan" in every single game, so people know who you are at this point. If you wanted to hide away from others noticing you or calling you out for stuff, maybe don't use the same name every game? Just a suggestion. Anyway, during this whispering, you then say: "Just a warning, solo is a predator. He's whispering me vulgar stuff again". This is a lie. Calling you "garbage" and "trash" isn't vulgar. At worst, it's elementary school, childish insults. You need to deal with it. Plus, it was one day, and not constant, so it's not harassment. Plus, once again, YOU started this. You just called this dude, who has done nothing to warrant it (in THIS game), a "predator". Twice.

Now day 2 is where stuff gets good. Yet AGAIN, you immediately start off with: "Solo would be banned if other people would just report him. I wish I was Vig. And now Cast is doing it too. I AM FIFTEEN. What you are doing is pedophilia!" So, how are people supposed to know your age, first of all? Once again, each game is separate; you cannot bring your baggage from a past game into the current game. That is literally the definition of harassment when you bring stuff up from the past and continue on with it while directing it at somebody else. YOU started off the entire game by calling Solo a "predator", and THEN you started off day 2 by attacking him AGAIN. Also, yes, Castiel saying that sexual thing in a whisper was gross, if he indeed knew you were fifteen, but apparently he's been banned. But his actions don't excuse YOURS. You have now attacked Solo's character three times, and day 2 had barely started.

After your accusations continue, Solo responds with: "STFU liar. You lying piece of shit. You slanderer." There is nothing wrong with this. Believe me, people say much, much worse. You need to deal with this. Also, if Solo really had been "doing pedophile stuff" in a past game, we would've seen the reports. Where are they then? This is why you need to take games by a case-by-case basis, and a game-by-game basis. So what Solo has done in other games is irrelevant. As of right now, all he's done is somewhat rudely told you to shut up, which he is 100% allowed to do; this is NOT harassment. You continue on with: "Please report them for harassment. The mods can see the logs." Solo threatens to report you if you don't stop, and then Cotton chimes in with: "Okosan bro, just ignore them if they are saying shit." This is 100% solid advice. Stop with the whole "it's impossible to ignore people in the game because it messes up how you play" or whatever it is you said. It's a garbage excuse, Okosan. I do it all the time. People piss me off rather easily, so I just do the /ignore on them. Hell, I've literally put an ENTIRE game of people on /ignore before, and just posted my results daily and voted how I wanted each day, without having to see ANYTHING being wrote! Since who cares? If you're still playing and posting your results and doing your job, you're not throwing. So you ignoring one or two dudes, if they are truly harassing you and you feel threatened, should be your first course of action. You not only refuse to do this, but you make up excuses for it, make up lies about what they're saying, and then continually call them names and tell others to report them. This is not okay.

You get pushed up to the stand, as you always do, and you have this lovely quip: "It's messed up, though." WHAT is messed up? Solo has done NOTHING. WRONG. IN. THE. GAME. What about this do you not get? Look, if he has seriously done stuff in the past, there would be a report for it. Or, how about you change your name? Or take a break and cool down and stop getting into the same game with him? Or put him on /ignore? There is a LOT you can do! But you KNOWINGLY engage with this guy! Oh, and then you say: "I'm not claiming without reason. Those two are harassing me. I reported them both." Okosan, I've been in about...10 or so games with you, give or take? In more than half of them, you do this shit. You claim, like, 3 different roles, or you lie to the town what your role is when you're something else, or you refuse to claim when pushed up to the stand. I don't give a shit what the "rules" say you're "allowed" to do. When you're going after Solo, refusing to engage with the town and PLAY THE DAMN GAME, and then refuse to claim...you're throwing. And you do this all the time. When you're on the stand, claim your role. It doesn't matter if you die for it at night; you aren't a queen that needs to be protected. With how you tend to play, and your annoying role-playing "Coo!" nonsense, I don't think you even know how to play. Do you wonder why people are so frustrated with you all the time? If it was once or twice and you feel "harassed", maybe you have a point. But when it's over and over and over, you need to take a step back and realize that maybe...just maybe...YOU'RE the damn problem. Even if you are fifteen, you need to grow up eventually, girl.

As you're rightfully lynched for refusing to claim, you add this lovely quip: "He is literally talking about forcing himself on my corpse. Please report him." Castiel never exactly said this; you just insinuated it. And, again, Castiel probably got banned already. But, you're still somewhat exaggerating the truth here. Then, in your will, you put this: "If I die, get Solo. Please report Solo for harassment. He keeps whispering sexual assault stuff to me, even after I told him I was underage last game." Once more, Okosan, in THIS GAME, he did nothing of the sort. So, let's recap. You have called this dude a predator twice, you've asked for people to report him, like, three times, you refuse to claim a role, and then you put in your will to go after Solo for no reason while also making stuff up (again, for the CURRENT GAME) that he did not do. Sounds pretty clear like you are the one targeting this guy. Trust me, I get it; from the way he talks, he does sorta sound like a jerk. But you cannot report based on what cannot be seen. You can't just magically reach back to 2 months ago, say that "Oh, I played with this dude a while ago, and he said sexual stuff to me! Now he's going to harass me again! REPORT!" You can't do that. You literally cannot do that.

Let's look at the rest of the stuff you say while you were dead: "I really hope those assaulters get banned. Why? I wasn't claiming without reason, and I was kinda being spammed with some seriously traumatizing stuff. This game has become so frighteningly toxic. Oh, someone's talking about assaulting a kid. That's fine, let's just cuss them out. Just unbelievable. You know, they probably actually go after kids in real life. I didn't throw. Learn the rules. It isn't. Ask on the forums. Both of my harassers are evils, apparently. It is not against the rules to not claim. I was voted up without reason and defended myself. I didn't throw. You voted me up with no reason, so I pointed that out. I didn't throw. Ask on the forums. The mods have said repeatedly you DON'T have to claim. Shut up creep."

So, a lot to unpack here. First, you say that you hope Solo gets banned...for not doing anything in the game. Also, you keep saying that you're a kid. Okosan, I'm not saying I don't believe you...but you do realize this is the internet, right? People lie about their ages all the damn time. For all these people know, you could easily be making up that you're fifteen. You could easily be 30-years-old. Sure, by how immature you tend to act, I'd probably have to agree you're fifteen, but that's besides the point. How is anyone supposed to know how old you really are? I could just randomly say that I'm sixteen or something, and then sob about people saying dumb shit to me, but I don't. So, you playing the victim and talking about how they were "assaulting a kid" is a joke. And it's slander. Solo did nothing to you in the game other than yell at you for attacking HIM. Oh, and saying "They probably actually go after kids in real life" is some extreme defamation right there. You realize you could get sued for that, right? You can't just call someone a pedophile and slander their character without actual proof. Also, you defending your game-throwing is cute and embarrassing, but that's not the main point, so who cares.

From start to finish, you constantly went after Solo (and Castiel, who admittedly deserved it more), asking for him to be banned for no reason, doing defamation of character, and game-throwing. You deserved to be reported. You were told in the game to put him on /ignore. You didn't. You insulted him and called him a predator and said damaging things to his character in real life. He did none of that to you. You said that he "did stuff" in another game, which naturally we cannot see on the report because...THE REPORT IS ABOUT THE CURRENT GAME, NOT A PAST GAME! Okosan, stop trying to talk your way out of this. You were suspended for a reason, and I support the judges and moderators for holding firm to that. Here is what I would suggest for you to do going forward:

1. Stop with the "Coo!" stuff. It's fine to have fun, and if you want to "stand out" among the crowd, I get it. But maybe try to just act like a normal player for once? See what happens and how people treat you then. Just remember, it's hard to take someone seriously when you're doing that "Coo!" nonsense the entire game...while insinuating someone is "doing sexual assault to a kid".
2. Claim your role before you get pushed to the stand (as you're getting votes), or at worst when you're on the stand. You're not a one-man (or one-woman) team here. You have many others in the game who need you as a number. You being selfish and refusing to give your role "for no reason" is embarrassing. You're on a team, Okosan. Act like it and play your damn part. I hate VFR (vote for role) with a passion, but when I log on and go into a game, I've acknowledged that I'm likely going to have to do it. If I can do that, so can you.
3. Actually claim what you are and stop making up lies. If you're Jailor, don't randomly claim Spy, because then you'd need to post daily results, which you can't accurately do because...oh, I don't know...YOU'RE NOT AN ACTUAL SPY. Don't fake claim Mayor as Medium, or Vigilante as Sheriff, or whatever. It's fine to want to fool the evils, but when you fool the town more than you do evils, you're gonna be getting some reports coming your way. Again, I don't care what the damn 'rules' say. Stop being selfish and only thinking of yourself. It's a TEAM. GAME. Get that through your skull.
4. Stop engaging with people who you don't like and just try to play the game. If people are pissing you off, use the /ignore feature. Again, it's a TEAM. GAME. What that one person who you have on /ignore says probably won't matter. You have other people there to give you info and help you out, too. You can't just keep crying about "being attacked" when you actively engage in it and allow it to happen. You need to try to get out of the situation first. You're not just a weak little pawn here; you have a voice, too. And, that 'voice' says to use /ignore and just play the damn game.

If you actually read all this, I'm proud of you. If not, so be it. I'm just sick and tired of your constant complaining (not to mention a ton of constant complaining from idiotic people in the 'appeals' area who whine about breaking the rules), and I'm sick and tired of being in games with you where you do this nonsense. You once executed me as Vigilante because I actually had the nerve to keep a will with my reasoning why I shot people, and you laughed at me and said "xD Fakest will ever" and executed me. I shot you as Vigilante in another game because you refused to claim, and when you did, you were claiming an impossible role...and you turned out to shockingly be a Jailor. I'm sick and tired of it. All the players who actually TRY shouldn't have to deal with this. Not to mention those who break the damn rules and rant about the moderators/judges not granting their stupid appeals need to grow up. Read the rules and obey the rules. Yes, some are ticky-tack and ridiculous, but that doesn't mean you can just break them. So, this all needed to be said.

I'm done now. I can't wait for you to just ignore every single thing I said, whine that "No, you're wrong, they WERE harassing me and I did nothing wrong!" just like a child would do, and continue to play the victim. Can't wait.
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Re: Sexual harassment in game and how to deal with it?

Postby PuppetPrincess » Sun Jul 14, 2019 3:37 pm

My roleplaying is irrelevant. Me being viewed as annoying does not make their behavior acceptable.

The Lobby is often filled with people saying things related to how they hope a player from last game isn't present. That itself is fine, provided something like a slur is not used. In the case of mine, a name was not even given. You describe Solo's reaction as him not being thrilled, but rather than express any annoyance, he embraced it. HE is the one who said he was the predator mentioned, then proceeded to bypass the chat filter, something which is against the rules, and call someone an inappropriate name, which is also against the rules. It's pretty horrible of you to try and shift the blame to me because I take offense to someone calling me a nasty word, especially when that someone harassed me extensively in the last game. And no, I didn't call them out first. I said no names. THEY acknowledged who they were, proudly.

I consider the stuff Solo said to be as vulgar. You don't have to agree, but it's still not a lie. Also, again, there's the fact that he spent the entire last game making disgusting sexual remarks to me, under the belief I was an underage girl. That's going to color everything he says, no matter how much people want to separate this game from the last one.

Stating Solo would be banned if people report him is just a statement, not harassment. And again, by this point, he has already insulted me several times, and is likely to do it the whole game.

Castiel knows my age because I just told him. I told him I was fifteen, so him making those kinds of remarks fell under that. And that was happening in THIS game, not the other one.

Ignoring people in the middle of a game like ToS is stupid. It DOES mess with how you play. You need to be able to see what all the other players say.

You defending Solo shows what is wrong with the world today. His behavior was inappropriate, even by the game's rules, yet I'm blamed. I'm told I should grow a thicker skin. This wasn't even just a player calling me a name because I'd gotten him hung or something, which I would likely overlook, but a player who'd spent a whole game harassing me just before this. You can talk about separating all you want, but life doesn't work like that. His behavior defines how people view and react to him, and that's never going to be game by game.

Solo has done ban-worthy stuff. I know this for a fact. So it's fine for me to say I hope he gets banned, even if you believe he has done nothing in that game.

Harassment is harassment. Them believing me to be fifteen just makes it worse. Solo was told last game when I was trying to get him to stop, and Castiel was told this game. Both chose to keep going.

Defamation? Seriously? If you are in a game talking about assaulting someone sexually, that's pretty telling about your character right there. Then you go on doing it when you learn the person is fifteen, and even remarks that age doesn't matter. I am well within my rights to assume they do this kind of thing outside the internet. ToS doesn't exist in a bubble, and while we act like what happens online isn't "real", it is. People get arrested in "real" life for saying things like what they did online all the time.

You're the one ignoring facts and blaming a victim, who you admit you don't like. You're defending two known predators as well. It's just wrong.
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Re: Sexual harassment in game and how to deal with it?

Postby Duckferno » Sun Jul 14, 2019 5:25 pm

Please lock this thread. It's annoying to see someone being extremely ignorant of their actions, but make it seem okay for you to do something, but not vice versa.
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Re: Sexual harassment in game and how to deal with it?

Postby PuppetPrincess » Sun Jul 14, 2019 5:58 pm

Stop trying to get the thread locked just because you disagree.
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Re: Sexual harassment in game and how to deal with it?

Postby RetralMega » Sun Jul 14, 2019 6:54 pm

PuppetPrincess wrote:Stop trying to get the thread locked just because you disagree.

Literally everyone disagrees.
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Re: Sexual harassment in game and how to deal with it?

Postby PuppetPrincess » Sun Jul 14, 2019 7:00 pm

The facts are the facts, all the same.
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Re: Sexual harassment in game and how to deal with it?

Postby ca11 » Sun Jul 14, 2019 8:09 pm

PuppetPrincess wrote:Stop trying to get the thread locked just because you disagree.

No, this thread should be locked because it became offtopic several messages ago.

You originally wanted to know how to deal with harassment in-game. You were given plenty of advice and options in the answers, all of them perfectly valid. Whether you like them or not, or what option among all you end up choosing is entirely up to you, but that doesn't belong to this thread anymore.

Then the thread turned into your appeal 2.0. Multiple users have explained to you why your report got guiltied and why your appeal has been denied. You can agree or disagree with them, but that again doesn't belong to this thread, as this is not the proper subforum and your report is not going to be reverted no matter what.

So at this point, what are you really expecting of this thread? Your messages show that you're not open to consider the majority's (if not everybody's) view on the situation, and so discussion no longer makes sense. You either take perspective and try to understand others' view, or you just agree to disagree and end this here.
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Re: Sexual harassment in game and how to deal with it?

Postby PuppetPrincess » Sun Jul 14, 2019 8:12 pm

You're all just showing the current problem with the game - abuse isn't taken seriously. Just blame and punish the victims. : ( Ignoring isn't a good solution.
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Re: Sexual harassment in game and how to deal with it?

Postby Duckferno » Sun Jul 14, 2019 9:28 pm

We aren't even saying. Didn't the Patron already tell you the moderator Banned and Suspended 2 players. What is there else that you need. The report system is fine as they already explained. I really don't understand the issue anymore.
Right as you started talking about the report system and complaining, it got off topic.

-If you don't think that your punishment wasn't Justified, which more than enough people have agreed it is, then PM Naru or TurdPile about it. But I'm sure it will be ignored.
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Re: Sexual harassment in game and how to deal with it?

Postby PuppetPrincess » Sun Jul 14, 2019 9:32 pm

It's not fine, because they still got away with it, while I got punished.
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Re: Sexual harassment in game and how to deal with it?

Postby Duckferno » Sun Jul 14, 2019 9:39 pm

The moderator Jerme responded
Please do not assume that others are left unpunished, because you were suspended for something. I believe we've dealt both with "Solo" and "Castiel" yesterday.


You got off topic when you wrote
I just got suspended for hate speech and harassment for falsely inciting reports against the guy I made this topic about. I'm gonna go appeal it now, but this kinda supports what I said here.


The reporting system is the best it could be, and no one is abusing it. It can't be abused as long as its not run by a bot, it is run by a system which Jurors can vote on whether the report is guilty or innocent and then a judge will decide. Then if the Judge deems it guilty, you are given a suspension/ban and you can try to appeal it at the Appeal Forum.
Also I don't understand why ignoring isn't a good option. I don't see why you REALLY care so much to win a game because you aren't getting information from what seems to be hateful people.

The facts are the facts, all the same.
The fact is the Report System has nothing wrong with it.(The Only thing that is, is that Moderators or Judges need to deal with some stupid reports). You changed the topic of this thread, which should lock the thread.

Not to be rude but it's an Online Game and you are taking Online 'Abuse' extremely serious, you need to harden up a bit.
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Re: Sexual harassment in game and how to deal with it?

Postby PuppetPrincess » Sun Jul 14, 2019 9:51 pm

There were punished for other offenses. If they were punished for their behavior in that game, then that would further prove my point.

This topic was made to point out and talk about the issues with sexual harassment in game. My suspension was directly related to that, as well as the specific incident I was talking about.

The reporting system needs to be better. People who deserve to be punished aren't, because the reports don't go through, while people who have done nothing wrong DO get punished.

In a game, you need to be able to see what the other players are saying.

No, I don't need to "harden up". Abuse is abuse, and it should always be taken seriously.
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Re: Sexual harassment in game and how to deal with it?

Postby Duckferno » Sun Jul 14, 2019 10:03 pm

But you see, you are being ignorant. I hope you know what that means. And like you just said, the issue was addressed. No one will listen to one person who thinks the report system is bad. Because everyone in this forum has disagreed with you at least once.

If one report goes through, there would be an increase of more than 90% false reports and it would be extremely frustrating. Understand this please.
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Re: Sexual harassment in game and how to deal with it?

Postby Jerme » Sun Jul 14, 2019 10:03 pm

Don't think others remained unpunished just because you got punished.
@Puppet: Its a bit of both (hardening up and "taking abuse seriously", sure Solo evaded the softfilter once, but thats it. Feeling harassed by just two lines of rather "mild" content does not equal as harassment.

I believe locking the htread is in order, since it went offtopic too much and one shouldn't discuss ones ban or suspension outside of the appeals board.
Lets all stay civil, shall we?
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