Alouvre sat, alone, in a library. Nose deep in a book this time. An arcane thriller about a mage with no morals and no boundaries. He left a trail of broken hearts only to eventually be wiped out by his own hand. It was grim, and it was so her. She was about to reach the climax of the story when a familiar voice came up to her in their school dress. "Hey, Swords," she said, slyly putting a bookmark in her place. That could wait. "What brings you here?" She gave a half grin, watching him closely. Trying to relax around her is hard.
For Swords' credit, she took her seat and propped her shoes on the table. Alouvre twitched with nervous tension, noting the lack of care she took around books. "You seem to be on edge, Alouvre. What's wrong?" She replied, with perhaps the slightest trace of sarcasm. "Uh..." She lacked a response to that. She tried to think, but no words came to mind. "... huh. I think I understand perfectly now." Swords' hand ran down Alouvre's school dress, stopping just at her waist. Alouvre gave a nervous shudder. "Interested?" She gave with half a wink and a grin. "Y-yes, please..." Alouvre had never felt like this before. It was... electrifying. Swords leaned in to kiss Alouvre on the lips. "Plenty of time, Alouvre. Plenty of time." Swords gave Alouvre a wink and walked off. Alouvre was left dumbfounded, and bothered.
Cyantic leaned against a bookshelf, with his eyes closed. He had shed his jacket in favor of slightly warmer clothing, specifically a regular shirt. Alouvre was there with him, checking out a few books. "What do you think of this, Cyan?" She tentatively asked, biting her lip. "Is there any sex, drugs, or gambling in it?" He replied. "Not that I can tell." "Ditch it and find something better." Alouvre shook her head, knowing that was to be expected from him. Her hands ran over the leatherbound spines, looking for an interesting tale to read. "How to ship like an utter moron?" She stated outloud, taking a peek inside. The author was some catgirl, probably not worth the effort. She put it back. "I'm not sure why you're drawing this out, Cyantic." She stated, trying to stall for a bit more time. "Seems unnatural," he replied. "Are you going to start quizzing me on this again?" She bit her lip again, a bad habit she picked up from... somewhere, she supposed. "Well, no, I was just... y'know... uhh, well. Yeah. I guess. Fuck." She stated. He rolled his eyes. She knew about his connections to some... less then innocent folk. He made the overture to her, trying to get her to sign up. "Good money, fast friends, and probably better then most jobs in this FM Recession." He stated, trying to sell it to her. She kind of bought it in a way. Maybe just a few more days to think about it. He was nice to talk to, and held her through most of everything. A calming presence. She got up, and dusted her knees off. Despite her knees being covered with her dress, she felt self conscious not to make some sarcastic remark, even only if in body language. Cyan had turned on the radio, playing something pretty nice. He always had a good ear for music, she thought to herself. "What if... I just..." She said, voice barely above a whisper. He didn't notice. She slowly closed the gap between them, and bravely touched lips.
"Cakez-chan, this is pretty interesting." Cyantic strokes alouvre's soft hair, running his fingers through the silky strands as alouvre purrs and lowers his ears in pleasure. Cakez rolls onto his side, batting a mouse toy with one hand and flicking his tail.
"I know, Cyantic-kun." Cakez writhes on the floor, rolling over the assorted cat toys and stretching his back out. "I told you this was a good idea."
"I shouldn't have doubted you, Cakez-chan..." Cyantic, starts, then stops. "Wait. Is alouvre dead?"
Somehow, they had missed that alouvre wasn't purring. That was a mutated death rattle.
Rock was on the ground, trying to work out the puzzles for the VLDR. It was giving him a headache, and eventually set his notes aside, and went outside for a moment or so. He needed some time to relax and get away from... leyva. It would be bad and incest. Yet, there was that draw... leyva was just his type. Leyva was perfect. Rock took a walk to calm down, but the only thing on his mind was his brother. Eventually, he gave up, and hunted down Leyva. He was quickly at work, about to head over to Ringlet's house. "Yeah, what's up Rock?" He called, hoping for the matter to be over quick. "Hey... uh... Leyva, I need to talk to you about something."
"Go on."
"It's uh..."
"... should I break out my watch?"
"Iloveyouleyva!" He cried, quickly rushing to kiss Leyva. Leyva freaked out and ran, leaving Rock on the door to his house. After a few moments, he broke down and gave up. Disappointed, even.
Ringlet waited at the end of the hall, nervously tapping his fingers against the wall. He'd get Cyan this time. For sure. No doubts about it! He seemed pretty proud of his plan, actually, in an ever escalating prank war. He could hear the door open and shut, as Cyan came back from work. He dropped his keys on the counter with a clank and stopped to grab a quick bite to eat before heading into the living room to relax and probably sleep for nine hours or some shit. "And be totally lame!" Ringlet thought to himself, restraining his giggles. He heard Cyan's heavy footsteps in the hallway, signaling his approach. He had eventually passed Ringlet, and Ringlet rushed Cyan, tackling him to the couch. "Woah, what the fuck?" Cyan shouted, before he hit the couch. Ringlet grinned with glee, it worked. The most simplistic plans get them all the time! "I was not prepared with a full out robbery today, Ringlet." Ringlet got off of Cyan, and gave him a hand up. "I think I've won this match, Cyan."
"I suppose you have, Ringlet. I suppose you have."
Iggy glances bashfully at his newest game. He just knew the FM community would love it! Nothing could compare to it. While his brief fling with the council members created sweet sweet empty chronological space in the game threads, he knew, BELIEVED, that he could take it once step further. He gently caressed his mouse over Obi's signups. Hiatus-senpai was calling to him. But first, he had to put the pawns in play. Shitter after shitter filled his "Closed Stalker-Mafia" game, and he knew the time was nearly ripe for hiatus senpai. He breathed heavily, sexually pleasured by the fact that he could hold hiatuses warm, timeless body for two entire weeks. Waiting patiently for the next few days to pass, he finally seizes the opportunity.
"You?" Alzar said, agape.
"Me. Or, you, if you prefer." Alzar replied, looking at the younger Alzar. "I've come from the future to give you a message!"
"Wait, how does that work? If there's some sort of scary future you want to avoid, wouldn't my avoiding it cause you to wink out of existence?" Alzar asked.
"Nah, not really. Anyway, the message I have for you is in my pants." The elder Alzar replied sexfully.
The younger Alzar took a moment to look at his older self. He had put on a few pounds, but other than that, pretty much looked the same, except for the look of desperation and the ugly pedophile mustache. The younger Alzar resolved never to grow a mustache like that.
Suddenly, the older Alzar's mustache vanished. "I know you want this," Alzar said to himself. "I remember this moment well from my past -- I absolutely LOVED it."
The younger Alzar was unconvinced. He decided to watch his weight, as well. Suddenly, the time-travelling Alzar grew fatter. "Damn my lack of willpower!" Alzar lamented.
"Wait. How can you remember this if it hasn't happened yet?" the younger Alzar asked. He was stalling.
"It HAS, though." Alzar replied.
"I'm not doing this."
"But you have to. You already have done it. I remember doing it, and then resolved to go back in time to the moment it happened and enjoy it again. It was a really good day."
"It was?" Alzar felt suspicious. He didn't think he was into dudes.
"Yeah, my asshole was pretty sore the next day though. There are a LOT of time-traveling versions of you on their way today."
This didn't make any sense. "This doesn't make any sense," Alzar replied. "If I refuse to have sex with you, will your memories change, or will you disappear?"
"Dude, I don't know! Let's bang!"
Alzar decided this was what he wanted. "Alright, let's do this."
The elder Alzar cursed. "Oh shit, I forgot a condom."
"Is that a problem?"
"Yeah, this is when you get AIDS. I give it to you."
"How did you get it?" Alzar asked. Maybe he could prevent it.
"I got it from you. Well, from me, when I traveled back in time and fucked me."
That didn't make any sense. Completely violated causality. Oh well.
"Ah, well, I guess I live, right? I'll go get my wig." The younger Alzar was excited. He knew he could have himself inside him without too much discomfort -- he wasn't very big.
"Wait, what wig?"
Alzar returned with his girly wig on. He turned to face Alzar, a slutty look on his face. "I'm ready for you, big boy. Or, I guess, slightly-below-average-but-still-perfectly-respectable boy."
The elder Alzar raised an eyebrow. "This is wrong. I didn't wear a wig."
The younger Alzar: "Is that going to be a problem?"
The elder Alzar: "I guess not. It sorta looks good on me. Keep it. It shouldn't be a problem if this doesn't go EXACTLY the same--"
With that, the timeline broken, the elder Alzar vanished from existence.
"Goddamn" the only remaining Alzar said. "I NEVER get laid in fanfics."
Cyantic swirls his dick martini, a testicle floating in the liquid dick. Taking a long sip of it, he looks out the window. (The window is bricked over from the inside.)
"On days like these," he sighed to no one in particular, despite the fact that he had a small audience, "I don't believe in God." He picks up a dickarette and takes a long drag, smoke curling forth from his lips.
The camera pans up to a dusty shrine. "COWGOD", the faded letters say. Cyantic closes a nearby book and instead picks up a dick thoughtfully, inserting it into his ass just as thoughtfully. He takes a sip from a nearby glass of dick whiskey, which is nothing more than a bloody slurry of real, farm-raised penis and whiskey.
Pan back to the window. The constant shifts in mood make the scene's purpose blurry. Cyantic meanwhile inserts another few dicks into his cavernous ass and adjusts his cravat. (Which is also a penis.)
Pan back over to window, focusing on a specific brick. Reflected in a similarly nonfictional window, is a scene of Cyantic stuffing the shrine to Cowgod into his ass.
cyantic and ronit randomly smooch.
"before we start..." ronit leaned in close, while still smooching cyantic and talking at the smae time. "i'm a jester."
"oh, it cant be that bad." cyantic begins to pull down his own trousers.
"I LIED, I AM ACTUALLY A SERIAL KILLER" ronit said, his trousers flying open while knives fly out of where most people don't expect knives.
"ah, but i expected this ronit. you see, i am the godfather bedding you to make townspeople think that i'm convinced that you're convinced that you're jester and i know that you know that you think you know you are actually serial killer but you think that i dont know." cyantic's pants fly off and guns begins flying out from there.
"ah, but i expected thhis," ronit continues. he opens his mouth and wine spills forth, frothing and filling the room.
"ah, but i saw this coming," cyantic says and begins loosening his tie before he drowns.
">be me" Cow begins. He holds a dick up, letting it dangle from his palm and it squirms fruitlessly and gnashes its teeth in thin air.
"No, no. Stop, that's all wrong." Metrion shakes his head, letting pale sparkles fall free from his hair and settle into the packed dirt beneath. Metrion gently takes the dick with one manicured dick, and flings it out into the ocean, where it lets a desperate howl out before dissolving into dust. "_This_ is how you do it."
"The fuck?" Cow scowls before picking a different dick up from the ground. This one is wider, but with more teeth and fewer tendrils. It thrashes in Cow's grip, and he turns around before letting it fly out into the wilderness. To his surprise, it grows wings and flies into the distance, screeching.
Metrion looks at Cow with a firm look of disapproval before picking up a new dick. "See, this is how-"
Cow falls to the ground, howling with pain. "That-that's MY dick, you idiot!" He screams before suddenly expiring from blood loss.
Metrion blinks and shrugs, casting Cow's squirming dick into the ocean.
"Who is the scummiest person in the game thread, Cakez-chan?"
"It's me, Alzar-kun! I'm the scummiest player! Now post your reads inside me!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
Alzar climaxed unorthodox meme after unorthodox meme into Cakez' quintuple-post of useless one-liners.
LordofFail looked up at K1ll's shining blue eyes, but quickly turned away. This couldn't be happening. He couldn't fall in love with- that gamethrower! He would report her to the mods, and get this over with.
But something was off. He just couldn't focus. He needed to think happy thoughts!
LoF thought of dicking 10-year-old Alzars. Yes, that helped him alot. He was feeling much more bliss than looking into K1ll's puppy eyes, begging not to get blacklisted. For the first time since December of 2014 LoF felt this feeling he had long forgotten. What was that? Yes, that was the feeling of power. He held the power over K1ll - or so he thought. He would gain power by turning this despicable creature in.
But his body had other uses for the power. He fought it, but he didn't care. He leaned in to K1ll's lips. Teetering moment. Here he would fall down the mountain one way or the other.
He leaned even closer and kissed K1ll's lips.