Fix the above posters problem

[Ezradekezra]

Use your god powers or something

The false prophet Cob709 stands before me!

[dolphina]

Burn him.
Burn him on a pyre. Make sure he screams in agony before dissolving into ash.

How do I legally commit arson?

[Ezradekezra]

Create a new country where arson is legal

I'm sleepy!

[dolphina]

Drink coffee.

I can’t legally create a new country, how do I commit arson legally?

[Ezradekezra]

Just make sure they can't trace it back to you

How do I get Dolphina to stop exploding whenever I say "kwench"?

[dolphina]

You can’t.

How do I murder someone and hide the body effectively?

[MysticMismagius]

Play Yandere Simulator enough (without debug commands) and you'll figure it out

All of my friends have already finished their finals but i haven't and that makes me stressed and sad

[JacksonVirgo]

Play Yandere Simulator enough (without debug commands) and you'll figure it out

All of my friends have already finished their finals but i haven't and that makes me stressed and sad

Understand everyone’s lives happen at different paces and one person isn’t better than another

I have a terrible sleeping pattern

[KAKERMAN23]

take melatonin at night

my internet sucks

[StlnSP]

take melatonin at night

my internet sucks

Use ethernet cable rather than wireless network

More and more of my acquintances are graduating and i'm stressed thinking about how can i be so slow and dum dum so i go to this forum for distraction sEND HELP

[dolphina]

Alcohol.
If not alcohol, video games.

I can’t seem to ever find my sanity, where has it gone?

[cob709]

You can have some of my sanity. Trust me, it'll greatly improve your mental capacity. Not only that, but perhaps you might start thinking like me!

I must spread the teachings of enlightenment.

[Stiersquid]

Hire priests and expand to other forums.

I have just spent way too much time reading this entire thread.

[JacksonVirgo]

Hire priests and expand to other forums.

I have just spent way too much time reading this entire thread.

Get your account banned

I keep procrastinating help

[Stiersquid]

If you don't start working I'll shoot!

Does that motivate you?

The police are aware of my illegal weapons.

[dolphina]

Fuck 12

I can’t seem to stop committing war crimes

[Ezradekezra]

Rewrite the law so that they aren't illegal

I'm wanted for 47 counts of capital murder! What do I do?

[Stiersquid]

The police can't arrest you if they're dead.

I need a lawyer.

[cob709]

Fear not, I will represent you in court!

The judge won't listen to me. The jury are ignorant.

[Stiersquid]

We'll make an appeal to a higher court.

Our appeal got rejected.

[cob709]

The government is corrupt! We must start a revolution to overthrow them!

We need a military force

[Ezradekezra]

I hear that the US president is willing to hire out the military as mercenaries

I'm annoyed af

[cob709]

Direct your emotions towards something productive, such as supporting our efforts to overthrow the government.

The military began shooting at me when I tried to recruit them!

[Ezradekezra]

Try using something other than the knockoff NoLynch bible as payment

I'm still annoyed

[JacksonVirgo]

Try using something other than the knockoff NoLynch bible as payment

I'm still annoyed

Don’t be

I’m at work and want to go home