qwertyuiopl wrote:Hello, and thank you for coming to my exhibition. As you know, there is one form of art that puts all others to shame, and that is the glorious craft of making Mii. I have decided to make one Mii character (using the Nintendo official website) for every member of the cast of FS3, each accompanied by a short blurb about the process. I hope you enjoy!
sad boiYou may think sad boi’s smile contradictory; after all, what would such a man possibly have to smile about?
Look at sad boi’s eyes. Those are the eyes of a soul with nothing, a soul with everything having been taken from it. But sad boi smiles through the pain, because he knows that the time of the reckoning is almost upon us.
And when that moment arrives, you’d best get out of sad boi’s way.
Editor’s note: sad boi’s name is not capitalized because sad boi does not believe he deserves it.WilliamThis William, I believe, is the epitome of all Williams. I think everyone named William is actually a jerk. Like, I’ve never met a nice person named William, and I don’t think anyone ever has, or will. This William is just another William in a world full of Williams.
Sergeant Nikolai BelinskiNikolai hasn’t had a break in years; he’s led a simple farmer’s life. Now, however, he feels two things he hasn’t felt in a long time.
Hope.
And bloodlust.
Deadzaki(?)There are many rumors regarding Deadzaki’s Pyramid. Some say it’s what gives him the power to avoid death. Others say it tastes like freshly cooked spaghetti (it certainly smells that way). I’ve dared several people to touch it, but so far, everyone’s been too scared.
Editor’s note: I still have no idea why Mii Maker lets you do this.HayoHere we have an action shot of Hayo having just sniffed out someone’s lie, with his very large nose that he uses almost exclusively as a lie detector. Fun fact: when Hayo smells that someone has lied to him, he opens his seven mouths (only one of which is visible on this plane) and swallows the deceiver whole. There are exactly 17 people currently being held in his phantasmal stomach, and one cat.
Samuel ChaseI opened the Mii Maker, looked at the default male, and was like, yup. Yeah, that’s Sam. Pretty much. You got it in one, Nintendo.
Finn ProbstAfter much researching, I believe I’ve finally found the reason why Finn Probst has been so very bad at talking to girls his entire life.
He’s very ugly.
Editor’s note: the reason it looks like Finn’s name in the image was written by someone having a stroke is because it was written by someone having a stroke. Finn has that effect on most people.Gibley D. QuivernautA sad boi almost rivaling sad boi, Gibley D. Quivernaut has been overlooked his whole life. His glasses were forced upon him by overbearing parents who expected him to be much smarter than he actually is. This is so sad.
Also, the D stands for Depression. Really, what else would it stand for?
Nathan Nightt..t.t..........[ERROR]kkckkckhh...Khhkhkhkhhkhckhrhkrrrrkhh... KKkkkckckcccan you hear this? I’m broadcasting from YouTuber Nathan Nightingale’s studio, and I don’t have much time. I have some shocking news that has to be shared as quickly as possible. It sounds crazy, but it’s true.
Nathan Nightingale is a robot, created by government officials intent on brainwashing today’s youth.
I mean, it shouldn’t come as that big of a surprise. Think of his hit songs, “Good Spy Camera in my Washing Machine” and “Socialism is a Product of Satan”. Both were big hits among the youth, and solely consisted of a monotone voice saying cryptic messages interspersed with sounds like bells mixed with human screams.
I think he heard me just then. It’s over for me.
I’ve made a video recorder that can follow him around. It’s trained to look at his his right chin; that’s his blind spot, and thus his weak point. Shoot to kill as soon as possible. Today, the youth; tommorow, the adults; the next day, thACK-
khhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...JadeWhere most people (think Gibley and sad boi) look to the dirt, Jade looks to the sky. In fact, they looked up so often that one day their eyes became attached to the top of their head. Jade took it in stride, with a smile, as always, despite the doctor’s warnings that “you’d better get that thing looked at or it might just be the death of us all”.
PersonThis man was hard to get a read on. They have almost no discerning features, and are faceless, in a metaphorical sense.
As it turns out, they have
absolutely no discerning features, and are faceless in a
literal sense. He can put on all the fake mustaches and glasses he wants, but he knows he isn’t fooling anyone.
Yodoko IzaraSure, you can argue that based on the application, Yodoko is more antisocial than evil. But he was originally a Danganronpa character, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned from that series, it’s that absolutely
everyone is evil. Plus, he carries around a sword. If that doesn’t scream “I am a psychotic fucking serial killer”, I don’t know what does.
Lime O’MalleyEvery part of Lime has been tailor-made to make her the perfect sport player. There are many sharp edges with which to stab her opponents, and her teeth serve the dual purposes of being extremely menacing and great at chomping. Even her hair is pointy enough to stab a crocodile to death. When the Olympic committee took away her medals, she annihilated the entire population of Ecuador using just .03% of her power. You do not want to meet her in a dark alley.
Ross AmariWhen you see Ross, I bet you think, “aww! How cute! I wanna help this guy win. He can’t be a threat!” But what are those just behind his hair?
Those are his second pair of eyes. Watching your every fucking move.
CourageMan, this show was great. Some great dark humor mixed with some of the creepiest plotlines outside of Night Vale. Shame they took it off of Netflix.
There’s not really anything funny about this one, I just really like that show. What, a guy can’t be sincere for a minute? Sheesh.
Floorb OrdBlame Lemon.
Eeeee EeeeeeFor Jack Cool, I decided to focus on the “looks very average” portion of his description. I took this
very literally. For every feature in the Mii screen (eyes, mouth, etc), I chose the one that was exactly halfway down the list. I applied the same logic to his name, deducing that E was the most common English letter, and that the average first/last name letter amounts were 5 and 6, respectively. You would think that this would result in a relatively normal looking face, and for the most part, that’s right. But damn, dark brown and lime green do
not go well together.
”Emery Elderidge”Considering that Emery Elderidge’s backstory is basically as fucked up as possible, I decided to fuck up Emery Elderidge as much as possible. In doing so, I believe that I have altered him so much that he can no longer be considered Emery Elderidge, or even a human being.
He looks like a mushroom got a tattoo of a really old bicycle.
He looks like if Donald Trump and a woolly mammoth had a baby.
His eyes look like they’re from another universe. So do the rest of his features.
If you gave birth to this, the doctor would probably shoot it, then you, then your dad, then themself.
All I can say is that Emery, I’m sorry. I truly am.
But wait...How could I forget our delightful host, N? The man who started it all, who put together the six tribes and three megatribes, who-
Wait.
Three megatribes... three sides on a triangle...
Is N a part of the Illuminati?
Hang on. Oh no...
N is the fourteenth letter of the alphabet... 3 megatribes, subtracted from 6 tribes total... 3 sides on a triangle...
14-3-3=8.
Oh Jesus Christ please tell me it’s not come to this. Because if I’m right...
The 8th letter of the alphabet... would be...
H.
We were fools to ignore it for this long. Right under our noses, and we looked away, fearing the battle that was fated to come. And it will come...May God have mercy on our souls...