I think most people missed this part in my will. This was where I explained my play this game.
Spoiler:
Most of you are probably going to be really surprised to see me actually flip Doctor. Granted, some of you will be pretty mad that I flipped Doctor. While I do regret most of my play this game, I still stand by that it wasn't that bad. I wanted to try and play more risky with the whisper trying to bait out the witch, but that just ended up backfiring and pushed the lynch on me. Half the people were scumreading me for not revealing the whisper earlier on while the other half were scumreading me for revealing the whisper before everyone checked in. It seemed to be a lose/lose situation. I defended myself as much as I could on this, trying to respond to nearly everyone's posts about it.
Then came Ultii revealing that he protected me, therefore a Witch couldn't visit me. Although the circumstances of me and him both being town are really unlikely, I still actually believe that he is town. His reveal early on seemed very unnecessary for scum, and I figure it's more likely to come from town. I also tried to defend myself against this, despite the fact that it was based on mechanics, and once again I was as active as I possibly could be and tried defending myself in every single way possible.
And then people accused me of being a Jester.
This was where I began to get really annoyed, and basically insulted that people thought that everything I'd done today was just a Jester act. After defending myself for one or two posts after the original accusation, I saw more people agree that I was likely a Jester, and I thought about the whole situation. Ultii had made a post earlier saying that there was no chance I was getting out of this lynch unless I had a really solid claim, which I didn't considering it was nearly a CC, and I don't think there was one person who believed I was town. People believing that I was a Jester honestly just made me give up after that. So I voted myself. I realised I might as well get it over with, because there was no way I wasn't getting lynched. I had been focusing on the game the entire day, trying to figure out how to make people believe that I was town, and all that ended up happening was people believing that my play was so bad that I had to be a Jester.
Everything I said in those 2 posts after I voted myself was pretty much entirely true, except for the part about me leaving if I wasn't lynched that day. That was mainly out of frustration, and I guarantee that I wouldn't have actually replaced out if I wasn't lynched. I wouldn't want to put someone into that position. I want to thank Moon here, because she actually PM'd me after the post and I asked if I was doing alright, and if I wanted to rant it out I could do so to her and Tilted.
I wanted to just stay off the forums for the night, but I checked and saw that people were misinterpreting my post as me claiming Jester, and I really didn't want that to be the way I was getting out of the lynch, so I made a post trying to clear everything up. After that, I actually wanted to play proper forum mafia, so I made some reads and tried analysing the thread.
I stopped playing forum mafia for about 6 months because I hated how competitive and aggressive I became when I played. I really did want this game to be different. I wanted to just relax and enjoy playing forum mafia, but that was nowhere near how it ended up turning out. I was stressed for nearly all of Day 2 and I felt that I was becoming more and more aggressive as I kept playing. After I host my FM game in a couple of weeks, I'll most likely end up leaving forum mafia again. It isn't really anything or anyone specific that happened in this game, it's just that I remembered how much I end up stressing and not really enjoying myself while playing.
I've probably lost a lot of respect from others because of my play this game, and my reputation has probably gone downhill. I never intended to offend or make anyone else feel bad this game, and I'm really sorry if I made this game not enjoyable for anyone playing, or for the hosts.
Scum played really well this game, more specifically mafia.