Town of Salem Game Forums

Chemist1422 wrote:reserved for explanation

go ahead and post now

so...

I am alive! Is nice. Yes, this is stupid.

Me neither
/vote htg

/fingerguns htg
POW

heytheregirl17 wrote:Y'all just lost a 1v7 mountainous nightless
to me of all people

That's humiliating

but WHYYYYY??

wait it's just htg and eragon left

htg is the Blu Engineer!1!1!1!!1

Oh right, I am dead

/vote htg
end quick

The Misfits are cult rock & roll
Worshipped by a few but ignored on the whole
Meet the Feebles is a film cult classic
It's basically unknown but some say it's fantastic
Most women that I meet seem totally unfazed
Til sometimes there somebody who seems totally amazed
I might not be in magazines as a heart throb face
But in a few devoted hearts I've found a strong fan base
I'm a cult boyfriend, not a mainstream show
I'm lonely or I'm worshiped by a lady in the know
When you're a cult boyfriend, life is always intense
They love me or they hate me no one's on the fence
Cerebus is cult comic book series
It's got fans but it's never found in movies or in theories
WFMU is a cult radio station
Always tuned to by a few devoted fans around the nation
For every time I couldn't get a second date or even first
Why does one think I'm the best when all the rest think I'm the worst
All of those times no one at all wanted to know
If I'm really all that awesome wouldn't more people think so
I guess Cult Boyfriend is the term for me
It's always been quality not quantity
A cult boyfriend's like a record in a bargain bin
No one knows what it's worth ‘til a collector comes in
Hm, who are some cult literary figures I can honor
Maybe J. G. Ballard or Flannery O'Connor
Haggis and Fugu, that's like food for cult eaters
Jim Jones, Charles Manson, Father Yod, they're cult leaders
Anyways the point being, do I have to be magical?
Can't we date a few months and then move on normal and casual
Suicidally alone and then totally smothered
It's so much pressure when you go from one extreme to the other
I guess Cult Boyfriend is the term for me
It's always been quality not quantity
A cult boyfriend's like a record in a bargain bin
No one knows what it's worth ‘til a collector comes in
I'm a cult boyfriend, not a mainstream show
I'm lonely or I'm worshiped by a lady in the know
When you're a cult boyfriend, life is always intense
They're in love or they're indifferent, no one's on the fence
And this song ain't probably gonna go far past an open mic
It's guaranteed though two or three people are really gonna like it

My breakfast is straight out the medicine cabinet
A remedy for the aftermath of my habits
Sometimes it's the ones who try to help
That hurt the most
I feel like we're playing tug of war and I'm the rope
And I'm stretched to the limit
But you keep on pulling
And I'm gonna lose my goddamn mind, I'm gonna lose my mind

I want to hide away in the back of a cave
At the top of a mountain
Where no one can hear me and no one can see me
So I don't have to deal with them
And they don't have to deal with me
'Cause relationships are overrated
Maybe I'm just tired and jaded
But I'm sorry I just like myself more than I like you

So call me anti-social, call it masturbation
Either way it's a solo operation
I'm just far more comfortable alone

It appears that apathy
Has gotten the best of me
'Cause I'm so tired of you talking my ear off
About all your problems I just can't fix
I don't appreciate this unwanted company
And your constant chatter
Reminds me why I'd rather you leave me be

So call me anti-social, call it masturbation
Either way it's a solo operation
I'm just far more comfortable alone

'Cause people are ugly and people are hateful
Destructive and greedy
We're proud and ungrateful
The world would be so much better off without us
So swallow a bullet
Or a handful of pills
We're all compost in training
And there's graves left to fill
Distract ourselves to make us feel like we're not just mistakes
Distract ourselves to make us feel like we're not just mistakes

It seems that everybody always has a bone to pick
A promise to break, never again will I make that mistake
Of trusting anyone
Trusting anyone
Trusting anyone
This is my misanthropic confession
Human beings are a waste of breath and
Don't think I exclude myself
I'm an asshole just like you

'Cause people are ugly and people are hateful
Destructive and greedy
We're proud and ungrateful
The world would be so much better off without us
So swallow a bullet
Or a handful of pills
We're all compost in training
And there's graves left to fill
Distract ourselves to make us
feel like we're not just mistakes
Distract ourselves to make us feel like we're not just mistakes
My breakfast was straight out the medicine cabinet

A daughter of a farming man, a lass with raven locks
I met her at the Cock & Bulls, a tavern by the docks
Although we courted but a week, my love for her persisted
For when with her, we swived in ways I never knew existed!

She's a whore, yes a whore
A lass of myth and lore
A pontifex of oral sex
She'll ride you till you're sore
Yes, she's a whore, yes a whore
She is dear to fleet and corps
Her legs are splayed, we'll all get laid
By the whore that we adore

Her bosoms were named Mary, for they were pure and white
Her muff was named Elizabeth, 'cause it was nice and tight
Her nips were named Daisy and Rose, for they're like flowering buds
But her ass was named the River Thames, 'cause it is full of mud!

She's a whore, yes a whore
A lass of myth and lore
A pontifex of oral sex
She'll ride you till you're sore
Yes, she's a whore, yes a whore
She is dear to fleet and corps
Her legs are splayed, we'll all get laid
By the whore that we adore

Well, soon after we parted ways, I saw her with me friend
They courted but a week or two, but that came to an end
She then did hop from bed to bed, but what made me so mad
'Twas after several months had passed I saw her with me dad!

She's a whore, yes a whore
A lass of myth and lore
A pontifex of oral sex
She'll ride you till you're sore
Yes, she's a whore, yes a whore
She is dear to fleet and corps
Her legs are splayed, we'll all get laid
By the whore that we adore

One day, while at the tavern here, I heard unhappy news
This country lass had died of clap - oh, what a jewel to lose
'Tis not as sad as one may think, as I soon realized
For all those saints now pass her 'round that big bed in the sky!

She's a whore, yes a whore
A lass of myth and lore
A pontifex of oral sex
She'll ride you till you're sore
Yes, she's a whore, yes a whore
She is dear to fleet and corps
Her legs are splayed, we'll all get laid
By the whore that we adore

She's a whore, yes a whore
A lass of myth and lore
A pontifex of oral sex
She'll ride you till you're sore
Yes, she's a whore, yes a whore
She is dear to fleet and corps
Her legs are splayed, we'll all get laid
By the whore that we adore

THAT WHORE!

Open up your
Open up your
Open up your throat
And let all of that time
All of that time
All of that time go

I know it sucks that Daddy's done
But try to think of what you want
You've got to open up your
Open up your
Open up your throat

Matt!

[Repeat Sequence]
Open up your Open up your
Open up your Open up your
Open up your Open up your
Open up your Open up your
Open up your Open up your
Open up your Open up your
Open up your Open up your
Open up your throat

Open up your, open up your
Open up your throat
And let the all of that time
All of that time, all of that time go

I know it sucks that daddy's done
But try to think of what you want
You got to open up your
Open up your, open up your throat

Matt
Support your brother
[Avey in background:] Sport brother
Support your brother (sports brother)
Support your brother
Support your brother sports brother
Support your brother sports brother
Support your brother sports brother
Support your brother sports brother
Support your brother sports brother
Support your brother sports brother

You've got his way and what he said
To help you shape the way you play
You've got to get rid of the mourning
Sort out the habits of your mind
[Avey in background:] "You've got to have a real good time"
You got to weigh all he said
He helped you shape the way you play
You gotta get rid of the mourning
Sort out the habits of your mind

You got to weigh all he said
He helped you shape the way you play
You gotta get rid of the mourning
Sort out the habits of your mind

You got to weigh all he said
He helped you shape the way you play
You gotta get rid of the mourning
Sort out the habits of your mind
Woo!

Matt!
Until you're fully grown
You've got a real good shot
Won't help to hold inside
Keep it real
Give a real shout out

Until you're fully grown
You've got a real good shot
Won't help to hold inside
Keep it real
Give a real shout out
Until you're fully grown
You've got a real good shot
Won't help to hold inside
Keep it real
Give a real shout out
Until you're fully grown
You've got a real good shot
Won't help to hold inside
Keep it real
Give a real shout out
Until you're fully grown
You've got a real good shot
Won't help to hold inside
Keep it real
Give a real shout out
Until you're fully grown
You've got a real good shot
Won't help to hold inside
Keep it real
Give a real shout out
Until you're fully grown
You've got a real good shot
Won't help to hold inside
Keep it real
Give a real shout out
Until you're fully grown
You've got a real good shot
Won't help to hold inside
Keep it real
Give a real shout out

Matt!
Until you're fully grown
You've got a real good shot
Won't help to hold inside
Keep it real
Give a real shout out
Until you're fully grown
You've got a real good shot
Won't help to hold inside
Keep it real
Give a real shout out
Until you're fully grown
You've got a real good shot
Won't help to hold inside
Keep it real
Give a real shout out
Until you're fully grown
You've got a real good shot
Won't help to hold inside
Keep it real
Give a real shout out

Matt

Until you're fully grown
You've got a real good shot
Won't help to hold inside
Keep it real
Give a real shout out
Until you're fully grown
You've got a real good shot
Won't help to hold inside
Keep it real
Give a real shout out

Matt
Until you're fully grown
You've got a real good shot
Won't help to hold inside
Keep it real
Give a real shout out
Until you're fully grown
You've got a real good shot
Won't help to hold inside
Keep it real
Give a real shout out

Matt
Until you're fully grown
You've got a real good shot
Won't help to hold inside
Keep it real
Give a real shout out
Until you're fully grown
You've got a real good shot
Won't help to hold inside
Keep it real
Give a real shout out

Matt
Until you're fully grown
You've got a real good shot
Won't help to hold inside
Keep it real
Give a real shout out
Until you're fully grown
You've got a real good shot
Won't help to hold inside
Keep it real
Give a real shout out

Matt

The problem is that when the subject of troll romance is broached, our sparing human intellects instantly assume the most ingratiating posture of surrender imaginable.

But we will do our best to understand regardless.

Humans have only one form of romance. And though we consider it a complicated subject, spanning a wide range of emotions, social conventions, and implications for reproduction, it is ultimately a superficial slice of what trolls consider the full body of romantic experience. Our concept of romance, in spite of its capacity to fill our art and literature and to rule our individual destinies like little else, is still just that. A single, linear concept. A concept usually denoted by a single symbol.

<3

Troll romance is more complicated than that. Troll romance needs four symbols.

Their understanding of romance is divided into halves, and halved again, producing four quadrants: the FLUSHED QUADRANT, the CALIGINOUS QUADRANT, the PALE QUADRANT, and the ASHEN QUADRANT.

Each quadrant is grouped by the half they share, whether horizontally or vertically, depending on the overlapping properties one examines. The sharpest dichotomy, from an emotional perspective, is drawn between RED ROMANCE and BLACK ROMANCE.
RED ROMANCE, comprised of the flushed and pale quadrants, is a form of romance rooted in strongly positive emotions. BLACK ROMANCE, with its caliginous and ashen quadrants, is rooted in the strongly negative.

On the other hand, the vertical bifurcation has to do with the purpose of the relationship, regardless of the emotions behind it. Those quadrants which are CONCUPISCENT, the flushed and caliginous, have to do with facilitating the elaborate reproductive cycle of trolls. Those which are CONCILIATORY, the pale and ashen, would be more closely likened to platonic relationships by human standards.

There are many parallels between human relationships and the various facets of troll romance. Humans have words to describe relationships of a negative nature, or of a platonic nature. The difference is, for humans, those relationships would never be conceptually grouped with romance. Establishing those sort of relationships for humans is not driven by the same primal forces that drive our tendency to couple romantically. But for trolls, those primal forces involve themselves in the full palette of these relationships, red or black, torrid or friendly. Trolls typically feel strongly compelled to find balance in each quadrant, and seek gratifying relationships that each describes.

The challenge is particularly tortuous for young trolls, who must reconcile the wide range of contradictory emotions associated with this matrix, while understanding the nature of their various romantic urges for the first time.

Of course, young humans have this challenge too. But for trolls, the challenge is fourfold.
When two individuals find themselves in the flushed quadrant together, they are said to be MATESPRITS. Matespritship is the closest parallel to the human concept of romance trolls have. It plays a role in the trolls' reproductive cycle, just as it does for humans.

This is pretty obvious! Not much more needs to be said about this. Moving right along.

When a pair of adversaries delve into this quadrant, they become each other's KISMESIS. As one of the concupiscent quadrants, it plays a role in procreation as well. There is no particularly good human translation for this concept. The closest would be an especially potent arch-rivalry.

For instance, human players would never be able to adequately diagnose the relationship between the queen and her archagent. But troll players could immediately place it as a dead ringer for kismesissitude. They would think we were all pretty stupid for not getting it. And they would be right.

Trolls have a complicated reproductive cycle. It's probably best not to examine it in much detail.

The need to seek out concupiscent partners comes with more urgency than typical reproductive instincts. When the IMPERIAL DRONE comes knocking, you had better be able to supply genetic material to each of his FILIAL PAILS. If you have nothing to offer, he will kill you without hesitation.

The genetic material - WITHOUT GOING INTO MUCH DETAIL - is a combinative genetic mix from the matesprit and kismesis pairs, respectively. The pails are all offered to the mother grub, who can only receive such precombined material. She then combines all of it into one incestuous slurry, and begins her brooding.
This doesn't mean the initial combination was for naught, however. In the slurry, more dominant genes rise to the fore, while the more recessive find less representation in the brood. Especially strong matesprit and kismesis pairings yield more dominant genetic material. The more powerful the complement or potent the rivalry, the more dominant the genes.

TROLL REPRODUCTION SURE IS WEIRD. We all take a moment to lament how pedestrian the human reproductive system is, and further lament that the phrase "incestuous slurry" is not a feature of common parlance in human civilization.

This quadrant involves a particular type of three-way relationship of a black romantic nature. Falling on the conciliatory side, it has no bearing on the reproductive cycle, except for indirect ramifications.

When two trolls are locked in a feud or some otherwise contentious relationship, one can intervene and become their AUSPISTICE. The auspistice mediates between the two, playing the role of a peace keeper, preventing the feud from boiling over into a fully caliginous rivalry.

Since such lesser feuds are quite common among trolls, there is a significant need for auspisticing parties. Without them, too many ashen feuds would become caliginous, and begin to conflict with other exclusive kismesis relationships, leading to a great deal of social complexity and sore feelings (even more so than black romance usually involves). Without auspisticism, the result would be widespread black infidelity.

The relationships each quadrant describes tend to be malleable, if not volatile, especially on the concupiscent half where more torrid emotions reside. It doesn't take much to flip a switch and transmute blackrom feelings to redrom, and vice versa.
In many cases, one party will have red feelings while the other has black. But it will often be the case that one party's feelings will swap to match the other's, since there is no quadrant which naturally accommodates such a disparity. But thereafter, it's not uncommon for the two to toggle between red and black in unison now and then. These scenarios naturally result in both red and black infidelities.

This sort of relationship volatility is why conciliatory relationships are an important part of troll romance.

An auspistice can stabilize particularly turbulent relationships. If the auspistice fails to mediate properly, or has no interest in the role, or perhaps has different romantic intentions him/herself altogether, then the relationship often quickly deteriorates into one of an especially hostile and torrid nature. There are many outside factors and influences tugging and pulling these relationships in different directions, and unlike humans who have very orderly, simple, straightforward romantic relationships without exception, trolls exist in a state of almost perpetual confusion and generally have no idea what the hell is going on.

Being confused by troll relationships is one thing we do have in common though.

This quadrant presides over MOIRALLEGIENCE, the other conciliatory relationship. A reasonable human translation would be the concept of a soul mate, but in a more platonic sense, and with a more specific social purpose.
Trolls are a very angry and violent race. Some are more hot-tempered and dangerous than others, to the extent that if left to their own devices, they would present a serious threat to society, or even to themselves. Such trolls will have an instinctive pale attraction to a more even-tempered troll, who may become their MOIRAIL. The moirail is obliged to pacify the other, to function as the better half. The two partners in a strong pale relationship will serve to balance and complement each other's emotional profiles, and thus allow their other relationships to be more successful.

It's often ambiguous especially among young trolls whether a bond formed between an acquaintance is true moirallegence, or the usual variety of platonic involvement. Furthermore, romantic intentions of a more flushed nature can often be mistaken for paler leanings, much to the frustration of the suitor.

But some pale pairings, as the one above, will be strikingly obvious to all who know them.

God you just can't get enough of this can you! That would have been a great point for a transition out of this illustrated sociological study, but ok, if you insist.

Now see, what's going on here is...

It's perfectly simple. When the full matrix of troll romance is in action, we have... uh...

Hey, why don't you figure it out! You should be an expert on all this by now anyway.
Later our troll hero would try to explain this to our human hero, attempting to convey all the nuance of troll romance through a nearly verbatim recitation of the preceding excerpts.

He would try to describe how rich and textured the troll romantic comedies were compared to the one dimensional schlock of our human cinematic counterparts. He would barely scratch the surface of Troll Will Smith's virtuosity with the delicate lattice of troll romance, as he would assist the bumbling fudgeblooded Troll Kevin James through the interwoven minefield-briarpatch of redrom and blackrom entanglements, all the while sifting through his own prickly romantic situation and ultimately learning the true meaning of hate and pity. But would they succeed before the imperial drone came knocking with his thirsty pails at the ready??? Yes, they would.

But John didn't understand any of this because he's a moron, and he wouldn't shut up about his awful bullshit Earth movies. He would just go on and on and on about that garbage.

But if there was one theme to be hammered through his thick skull, it would be the trolls' cultural preoccupation with romantic destiny. Yes, the romantic landscape is rife with false starts and miscues and infidelities, red and black. But every troll believes strongly that each quadrant holds one and only one true pairing for them, and it is just a matter of time before the grid is filled with auspicious matchups through the mysterious channels of TROLL SERENDIPITY.

In short, their belief is that for each quadrant there exists a pair or triad of trolls somewhere in the cosmos that were...

MADE FOR EACH OTHER.

I'm waving my dick in the wind
I'm waving my dick in the wind
If it all goes right, I'll be in your arms tonight
But I'm waving my dick in the wind

I'm lost in the sauce once again
I'm lost in the sauce once again
If I make it through the night, everything will be alright
But I'm lost in the sauce once again

It's been ninety-seven days since I laid my head beside you
And a million miles of highway in-between
There's some red and blue lights that are shining right behind me
And that pig's pretty mean, bastard

You should have seen old Jimmy Wilson dance
You should have seen old Jimmy Wilson dance
Give that boy a dime, and you could have a chance
To see old Jimmy Wilson dance

(Dance, Jimmy
I'm doin' the best I can, right there
That's it
You know, I can't really dance like I used to. I mean I'll try, but I'm an old, old man now)
I've got a real good feeling 'bout old Jimmy Wilson
Sure enough, he's got what it takes
Do another number for me, please won't you, Jimmy?
Cause you're a real good dancer
(Ooh, yeah, cut me down!)

I'm waving my dick in the wind (aa-oo-aa)
I'm waving my dick in the wind (aa-oo-aa)
If it all goes right, I'll be in your arms tonight
But I'm waving my dick in the wind
Waving my dick in the wind
I'm waving my, dick in the wind

Eragon1329 wrote:What's that? A weapon?! That thing is why the Heavy is dead!

The heavy is dead!?

demoman better be daycop

Gun
gun bullet
bullet bulle- bu-bullet gun!
Yeah, gun bullet
bullet in gun
Yeah!
Yeah, gun bullet
bullet bullet
gun gun
Bullet in the gun!
Gun the bullet!
Bullet a-uh uhh..

Is there a photo of me on your wall
In short short-shorts or zipped down jeans?
Do you look up at night and wish you were me, under the spotlight?
Are you visceral viscous?
Do you want to make love to my sweet visage?
And then pretend it's you, it's you, it was always you

I wrote you a letter to become a member of your fanclub
But all I got in the mail was return to sender
STAR: I'm still a big big star
FAN: No, you're not
STAR: Yes, I am
FAN: No, you're not
STAR: Yes, I am
FAN: No, you're not
STAR: You liked my latest film
FAN: No, I didn't
STAR: Yes, you did
FAN: No, I didn't
STAR: Yes, you did
FAN: No, I didn't
FAN: I'm not a fan of yours anymore
STAR: Yes, you are
FAN: No, I'm not
STAR: Yes, you are
FAN: No, I'm not
STAR: Yes, you are
FAN: But you broke my fragile heart
STAR: No, I didn't
FAN: Yes, you did
STAR: No, I didn't
FAN: Yes, you did
STAR: No, I didn't
FAN: I hate you
STAR: I hate you too
FAN: I hate you
STAR: I hate you too
FAN: I hate you
STAR: I hate you
FAN: I hate you
STAR: I hate you
FAN: I hate you
STAR: I hate you
FAN: I hate you
STAR: I hate you
FAN: I hate you
STAR: I hate you
FAN: I hate you
STAR: I hate you
FAN: I hate you
STAR: I hate you
FAN: I hate you
STAR: I hate you
FAN: I hate you
STAR: I hate you

watchme1 wrote:why is everyone dying :c

why are YOU not dying

Heavy - me
Blu engineer
Spy
Sniper
Soldier - Sparking
Medic - ICE
Scout - Royee
Demoman

Chemist1422 wrote:

lemonader666 wrote:

EqsyLootz wrote:Who Killed Heavy!?

I think it was-

SHHHH! YOU ARE DEAD!

Ok

ICECLIMBERS wrote:This game is as dead as the heavy.

THE HEAVY IS DEAD?!???!